Someone mentioned contacting the person on the IRS’ proof of claim. I’ve been told these personnel are very responsive and try to work with debtors. I’d ask the bankruptcy attorney to contact that person and have them provide you with the information you need.
As for the other stuff, this is a bit complicated with a separate filing by each spouse and what appears to be a pending Chapter 13, with its attendant co-debtor stay. I’d have them speak with the bankruptcy attorney regarding the ability to sell the home. They may need court approval. This also applies equally to the lien issue. The bankruptcy attorney should address that issue.
Finally, you asked about the lien withdrawal. I believe that this is handled strictly through centralized lien unit.